Why do I get the terrifying feeling that if Citizen Kane was remade today, the bulk of the investigation into the life of Charles Foster Kane would take place...online?
I mean, obviously, Citizen Kane will never be remade. It can't exist outside of its perfectly preserved bubble of time. Also, I'm pretty certain that Orson would literally overcome death to make sure that never happens...or at least, to get first crack at the director's chair.
But I get scary close to visualing it...Charles leaves an omnious status update on Facebook in his last moments: '...rosebud...' With the help of the servants, the faceless reporter (played by Shia LeBeouf) hacks into his account and discovers the dark truth. The interviews with those who knew Charles best are, naturally, conducted on MSN.
The entire plot could honestly condensed into the Facebook universe:
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Charles Foster Kane left the group Opera Lovers of New York.
Charles Foster joined the group Opera Lovers of New York.
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Emily Monroe Kane left the group C.F. Kane for Governor.
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Susan Alexander and Charles Foster Kane are now in a relationship.
Susan went from "in a relationship' to "it's complicated."
Susan is now listed as "single."
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Jed Leland left the network The Chicago Inquirer.
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Charles Foster Kane became a fan of Being Alone.
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And if Google enters the picture, I'm afraid all bets are off.
1 comment:
This is the funniest, smartest post I've read in a while! I love it :)
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