The Future's So Bright, We're All Going to Need Corrective Eye Surgery

You've played with kids before, right? You know how they do something cute once, and you laugh, and they get really excited and keep doing it? Remember how it's funny the first twenty times or so, and then you find yourself shifting uncomfortably while you try and come up with a way to tell the kid to go away without scarring them for life? 

Keep that metaphor in mind while you read this post. 

From what I've heard, advance buzz about the new Star Trek reboot is mostly positive--it's a lot of excitement from both fans and non-fans alike. But one other thing has surfaced about the new Star Trek, that has little to do with how good it is or isn't: it's probably GOING TO BLIND YOU. 

Director J.J. Abrams (Jabrams to those with the peculiar and temperamental relationship with him only a fan can have) proves himself once again intent on having the reviews of his film focused on one or two schlocky gimmicks instead of what's going on with the moving pictures. With Cloverfield, it was shaky camera angles. With Lost, it's the fact that no plot line can ever be tied up without three more growing in its place (the Hydra school of film making). And with Felicity, it was that no girl could possibly be that self-obsessed and yet so blithely unaware. 

He continues this proud tradition with: lens flare? 

Yes, lens flare. i09 interviewed the man himself on the abnormal amount of flaring lens in the advance screening of the film. And what did he say? Well, I didn't really follow, but the subtext was definitely along the lines of, "GUYS HOW AWESOME IS THIS?!?!one!!"

"I know what you're saying with the lens flares. It was one of those things ... I know there are certain shots where even I watch and think, 'Oh that's ridiculous, that was too many' ... There is something incredibly unpredictable and gorgeous about them. It is a really fun thing. Our DP would be off camera with this incredibly powerful flashlight aiming it at the lens. It became an art because different lenses required angles, and different proximity to the lens. Sometimes, when we were outside we'd use mirrors. Certain sizes were too big ... literally, it was ridiculous. It was like another actor in the scene ... So it was this ridiculous, added level of pain in the ass, but I love ... [looking at] the final cut, [the flares] to me, were a fun additional touch that I think, while overdone, in some places, it feels like the future is that bright.

I swear, sometimes he seems like an overgrown kid who still can't buy that the grown-ups are letting him house-sit. 

Before you go gettin' cocky and assuming that they still haven't made a lens flare YOU can't whip, then watch the following brief scene. And imagine it ten times bigger and also brighter. 

Oh, I'm going. I'm just going to close my eyes against, Raiders of the Lost Ark style, because they can't hurt me if I don't see them. 

(via Vulture)