Pajiba's 10 Most Bangable Celebrities, 2009 edition. A holy rite, and sacred passage. These ain't your mama's celebrities. These are the geek celebrities, the smarty pants lusties, the thinking man's crush. That said, let's break it down.
10. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Yeah. Sure. I still him remember him from 3rd Rock, so it's a little skeevy, but he'd treat me nice. So sure.
9. Zooey Deschanel. Absolutely. I think we're the same size, so maybe after we could swap clothes and go shopping. And compliment each other's side bang! Oh, that sounds like such fun.
8. Paul Rudd. Funny, cute and deadpan? Sign me up.
7. Rosario Dawson. Eh. Though she did make out with Clive Owen, so I'd only be like, one degree away from him then. Those are odds I like!
6. Christian Bale. Not my cup of tea. I fear he'd beat me up, and not in the sexy way.
5. Christina Hendricks. Oh hells yeah. ever since her days on Firefly, I have always maintained she has the most luscious natural breasts I'd ever seen on a skinny girl.
4. Ryan Reynolds. MINE. Everyone else, hands off. Step off, bitches. THINE HANDS BE ELSEWHERE. I SEE YOU, EMILY. I told you explicitly: NO TOUCHY.
3. Kristen Bell. Eh, less so. She's cute, for sure, and I do envy her bodacious side bang, but...I don't know. There's a but.
2. Robert Downey Jr. Mother, may I! ...no, seriously mom, can I? Would that be a mistake? I know what you always said about artists....but then again, my romantic track record makes it very clear I blatantly ignored your advice. So, I guess we have to agree to disagree. Trust me, everyone will be happier this way.
Especially me.
Because hello? Robert Downey Jr.
LAWYERED.
1. Nathan Fillion. Okay. While objectively, I understand, there's a part of me that just cannot get on board. He's like...5% too beefcake for me. I mean, I wouldn't say no, exactly. But it might be a begrudging yes.
I miss last year, when Tina Fey made the list. Good times.
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