In a nutshell: I owe TCM all my babies. Again. Honestly, I don't know how this keeps happening.
Extreme? Perhaps. But sometimes when I switch them on, and catch a glimpse of their unbelievable marketing materials makes me feel as though I have unknowingly entered into a tangled Faustian bargain with them. Unfortunately, I didn't even need the bargain, as I would willingly hand over whatever they demand of me (including firstborn children) as long as they keep being brilliant.
You can travel down any avenue of their marketing--TV spots, print ads, even their online portal--and it all evokes the same nostalgia for old Hollywood, a kind of joyful cleverness that could be cloying but instead comes across as wildly, touchingly sincere. These wonderful people, whoever they are, really love old movies.
Every summer TCM runs a special month-long feature called 'Summer Under the Stars.' It's fairly straightforward: every day in August, they pick a new star and run their movies all day long. Don't worry; TCM is known for this kind of almost cutesy thematic programming (they celebrate the birthdays of old studio big shots). As I said, this happens every year, and it’s always fun to see who gets an Augustan welcome.
So, imagine my reaction when I log onto for my monthly rundown of what will be playing this month and happen across the most perfect thing I will ever know.
See, the bright stars at TCM thought this year they'd do something a little different. Namely, make all my dreams come true. For each day in August, they remade the posters of old Hollywood films, updating their marketing to modern standards.
What? Why aren't you excited? I'm sorry, maybe you didn't hear me: THEY REMADE OLD MOVIE POSTERS. LIKE, FOR FUNSIES.
The results? Marvelousness. If you ever wanted to see The Magnificent Seven realized as a Tarentino-esque revenge flick, or Roman Holiday as a cheery Euro-romcom, you came to the right place. Not only are they breathtaking, but damn if they don't prove what I've been saying all along: these films may be technically old, but their themes, characters and stories are universal.
There are 31 to pick from, so naturally, I weeded through to find my standouts:
Jailhouse Rock (1957)
The Story: Elvis Presley is Vince Everett, an ex-convict working in the music industry. After going to jail for a fight he didn't start, he meets and bonds with Hunk Houghton, a washed-up country singer, who teaches Everett to play an old guitar, and to sing a few songs. He later shoots to super stardom and begs the question: will success spoil Vince Everett?
This film is notable for being one of Elvis' best, as well as cementing his bad-boy rebel image. Perhaps one of the most heart-breaking things about Elvis is how badly he wanted to be Marlon Brando. But it was not to be, and the studio only put him in teenybopper-friendly fare. Brando dreams=dashed. After all, how many musicals do see Brando in? Uh... don't answer that. I'm still trying to repress.
The 2009 Result:
Ohhh, so THIS is why Elvis is awesome. I totally get it now. Rock and roll, baby.
This poster (unlike the old version) really captures the exuberance of a true rock and roller at his baby-faced prime. He's gotta dance, baby, and ain't nobody movin' like that boy could move. Look at that face: he's trying to act like he doesn't know exactly how charming this little rebel play-acting is.
To Catch a Thief (1952)
The Story: John Robie (Cary Grant) is a notorious but retired jewel thief, nicknamed "The Cat," who now leads a quiet life tending to his vineyards in the South of France. A rash of robberies that closely resemble his old style lead the police to believe that the Cat is up to his old tricks again.
If To Catch a Thief was only notable for bringing Cary Grant out of near-retirement, then we'd owe it forever. But add to that the ravishing locales, international intrigue, not to mention the unbelievable diameter of Grace Kelly's waistline, well...to that, I must tip my hat.
The 2009 Result:
HOT DOG. Well, first of all, I want to see THAT movie. I mean, I have, about twelve times, but it practically reinvents the film. Edgy intrigue with an international flair, it's this kind of sexy, urgent imagery that drives the cinephile wild. If one little snapshot can conjure up this much possibility, imagine what a whole film could do...
The Letter (1940)
The Story: On a moonlit night, Leslie Crosbie (Bette Davis), the wife of a British plantation manager in Malaya, shoots and kills a man whom is identified as Geoff Hammond (David Newell). She says it was to save her honor, as the brute tried to force himself on her. Everyone celebrates Leslie as a hero...until a letter emerges that threatens Leslie's alibi and hints at a piece of the story left untold...
I always found The Letter fascinating for its treatment of its central conflict, and how it ultimately resolves Leslie's crime (no, you won't be spoiled here). Obviously, on one level, you have a wounded, defensive woman who has been through a nightmare--as the tagline goes, "With all my heart, I still love the man I killed." So tragic. But on the other hand, you cast Bette Davis. She ain't no victim, let me tell you. It's part of the reason I find Now, Voyager (1942) and Bette's initial cowing to her overbearing mother so hilarious: seriously, nobody puts Bette in a corner. Why are you even trying?
The 2009 Result:
BADASSNESS. Check out Bette, guns ablazing! She is taking names, everybody! I always knew you ought not to mess with her, and now I have proof. I love how this poster evokes the same sort of helpless passion of its protagonist, as well as start developing the film's central mystery even before the first reel.
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? (1967)
The Story: A young woman (Katherine Houghton) brings her new fiancee (Sidney Poitier) home to meet her liberal, upper class parents (Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn). Unfortunately, she's white...and he's not. Oh, and it's also 1967. Uh oh! I sense a conflict.
This film is a bittersweet success because beloved Spencer Tracy died just 17 days after filming wrapped. In fact, both Hepburn and director Stanley Donner had to take pay cuts to ensure the movie was made, because no insurance company would touch the ailing Tracy.
The 2009 Result:
It all boils down to black and white. Stanley Kramer crafted Sidney Poitier's character, Dr. John Prentice, to be virtually without flaws-- he is a young, handsome doctor who is accomplished, honorable and respectful: the only possibility objection could be the color of his skin. I like how this new poster (unlike the neon-orange scream team of the '67 version) better paints a picture of what awaits the viewer: a simple, straightforward parlour room drama, with impeccable manners.
(For more Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, pick up up Mark Harris' Pictures at a Revolution. DO IT. It's amazing.)
The Big Heat (1953)
The Story: A cop takes on the crime syndicate that controls his city after the brutal murder of his beloved wife. And hey, look, Lee Marvin showed up!
The Big Heat marked not only a new kind of noir (thanks to German-born director Fritz Lang), but also a new take on crime on film: in the 1950s, with the gradual realization that crime in America had become an empire, that corrupted nearly every facet of society--including those who thought they were immune, the all all-important typical citizen. So, noir pictures start to focus on the lonely hero taking it on himself to buck up and bring down the bad guys--a stand-in for the average American citizen.
The 2009 Result:
Noir gold. Remember all those other movies, that pretended to be noir but really just landed somewhere around 'lame potboiler'? Let those lesser movies fall to their knees before the real deal. If you try and tell me Gloria Grahame isn't everything a woman is meant to be (and then some) I will laugh directly in your face. Directly. You will feel a fool.
Grahame was considered the Hard Luck Dame--so many of her characters fell to tragic fates. More often than not, she wound up slinknig through a noir picture, as the sullied, hard-luck but still ravishing femme fatale. It was a typecast that, for me, was best served in It's A Wonderful Life, wherein she plays Violet, who finds herself in non-specific 'trouble' that George (Jimmy Stewart) can't help but try to save her from. But it wasn't all bad; as a Lady Noir, she got to drop gems like, "I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better."
Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
The Story: General Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden) is a delusional commander of a United States Air Force base who initiates a plan to attack the Soviet Union with nuclear weapons, hoping to thwart a Communist conspiracy to "sap and impurify" the "precious bodily fluids" of the American people with fluoridated water. Yeah. No, it's meant to be ludicrous and funny. I'm, like 95% sure, anyway.
Kubrick didn't even intend to make the film into satire until the studio insisted on casting Peter Sellers (whose work on Kubrick's Lolita was thought to be responsible for its European success). Not only that, Columbia wanted Sellers to play multiple roles...perhaps hoping for each billing to increase the mathematical chances of success? Who knows. Studios have come up with less plausible strategies.
The 2009 Result:
Hilarious. Somebody sure did their homework on this one. Phallic symbol, check. Suggestions of male virility, check. Scribblings of a crazy fluid-guy, check and check. I guess that makes you awesome, Poster.
I don't care what anyone says: Sterling Hayden is kind of hot. He's got that whole 'surly Viking' thing cornered.
No comments:
Post a Comment