"Communication would be so easier without all these words."

THIS WEEK IN CYNICTASTROPHE:

Further Proof that We’re Staring into an Intellectual Apocalypse.

 1. Yes, you know what? I really, really needed my mayonnaise to come complete with streaming video. Thanks. A bunch. Now I won’t have to think at all at the grocery store; the loudest jar will decide for me.  

 2. Yay! Now with the click of a button, I can own a Porsche too! This must be what Dr. Abraham Washington meant when he talked about the American Dream.

 3.. The Right Wing gets cannibalistic. The real news: people are surprised.

4. NBC, defying such time-honored traditions as ‘logic’ and ‘taste,’ chooses to sign on for a full season of its low-rated, wretchedly reviewed Knight Rider. See, because they’re always looking out for the little guy.  

and…

 5. Microsoft’s smarmily defensive “I’m a PC” ads were – wait for it—created on Mac computers. And on the day when the words ‘lack of forethought’ were redefined, I simply stood in awe and watched.