The four horsemen brought Jager! ROCK!

THIS WEEK IN CYNICTASTROPHE:

Further Proof that We’re Staring into an Intellectual Apocalypse.

1. The entire staff of the Canadian Oxford Dictionary has been laid off due to declining sales.

2. The Fox Reality show “Hole in the Wall,” wherein people in metallic suits try to fit through a shape in an approaching Styrofoam wall would be enough to herald the end. But the fact that the show is already a hit in Japan, Argentina, Australia, Brazil, China, Colombia, Denmark, Germany, Hong Kong, India, Israel, Malaysia, Mexico, Russia, Sweden and Britain? CEMENTS IT.

3. Aaron Sorkin—creator of Sports Night, The West Wing and the much aligned but appreciated by me Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip—has signed on to a new movie. It is a film about Facebook. I’ll let that sink in. Sorkin. Facebook. Linked together for eternity in the annals of IMDb.

4. David Mamet makes Redbelt. I swear to God, I thought I was being punked. Chiwetel Ejiofor is in it. And Tim Allen. Let me reiterate: Chiwetel Ejiofor and Tim Allen. In the same movie. A movie by David Mamet. And it is a movie about, and I quote, “a self-defense instructor who imparts upon his students the skills to survive on the street.” The reason I broke that into so many sentences is because I cannot bear for it to all be in the one. 

5. Beverly Hills Chihuahua is number one at the Box Office. For the second weekend in a row.

and...

6. White people, in the ultimate act of irony, have added Stuff White People Like to the hypothetical list of stuff that white people like.