...and on the day 'surreal' was reinvented, I simply stood in awe and watched.

Hold the phone. DO NOT PUT THAT PHONE DOWN. 

Robert Pattinson --yes, the emo vampire from Twilight-- is playing Salvador Dali?  

I'm sorry, my mistake. It must be some other, lesser known Salvador Dali. Surely not this one: 

Funny story! I remember seeing a Dali exhibition when I was in London. There was a non-stop showing of his special little films there, and you know what the first thing I thought was? "Gee, I hope when it comes time to immortalize this eccentric bastard, they find some nice, vanilla young man who in no way resembles Dali save for an artfully glued mustache." 

AW, I'm just being cynical. In truth, the resemblance is uncanny. Dali dabbled in both anarchism and communism, and counted among his friends several prominent members of the Dada movement. On the other hand, Pattinson has more than once been touted as the next Jude Law AND knows Harry Potter! George Orwell famously declared  that Dali was "a good draughtsman and a disgusting human being." Meanwhile, xxedwardsgirlxx simply LOVES it when [sic] "Rob does thhat little shy thing, it’s so adorable!" Seriously, did Pattinson go Method for months in preparation? Because I can't tell where he ends and Dali begins. 

But to be fair....really, this IS the most surreal choice the filmmakers could have possibly made. I'm certainly reeling from all the metafictional mixed messages and I only found out like, ten minutes ago. So in a bizarre, roundabout way...I guess they're fulfilling everything Dali stood for. 

Hey, but good news, Daniel Radcliffe! This creates a promising precedent. If the performance of Pattinson's little mustache is any indication, apparently all you need to do to lock in the part of Napoleon Bonaparte is a really big hat and a baguette!