THIS WEEK IN CYNICTASTROPHE:
Further Proof that We’re Staring into an Intellectual Apocalypse.
1. On the set of Dollhouse, Joss Whedon is fighting off creative interference from the network. What network, you may ask, if you'd been living in space for the last ten years? Well, it's a real shocker: it's Fox. Gosh, I feel like I’ve been here before…OH WAIT. I HAVE. It was called 2003 and the cast was only slightly different.
2. Charles Barkley will be running for Governor. In related news, Dan Brown has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature and Jerry Bruckheimer bought the Oscars. Thus cementing the notion that prestige is just a dirty word elitists use to make real Americans feel bad.
3. You know what I could do? I could pepper this Sarah Palin incident with some scathing commentary. I could chalk it up to the latest steak thrown on the barbeque media and cry for three more days. But I won’t. Instead, I’m letting this speak for itself: behold, the Sarah Palin war on fruit flies.
4. On an actual related note, tell me this is outlandish. I will call you a liar.
5. Damn it. DAMN IT. I was always afraid this day would come, but I viewed it as more of a cautionary tale. I knew I had the capacity to do this! To turn pop culture ire into some kind of begrudging appreciation! It happened with the Rock, after all: I watched Walking Tall and found myself A) not hating it and B) actively enjoying myself (albeit with a Manwich-sized dose of irony). And yet, I didn’t learn the real lesson from that experience: not even my hate cannot burn forever, despite being fuelled with the passion of some pretty stubborn conviction. So now the worst is true—I want to see a Ron Howard film.
Please, tell my integrity I loved it well, if not wisely.
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