X-Men First Class trailer

by Jillian Butler, Ampersandology





Wait a...hold on now. So the X-men solved the Cuban Missile Crisis? I mean, my instinct says to go for the easy jab and gesture to the mountain of history books currently propped up against my desk that disagree with that idea...but no. Not today. 


Because you know what? It is way too awesome for me to get mean. It is pointedly absurd and I love it. Kind of like how the inclusion of super-beings in Alan Moore's Watchman made the whole book sort of like a massive, decade-spanning version of Where's Waldo for historical events. Watchmen took it to epic levels, creating a vivid, alternate tapestry of skewed national memory. In comparison, this just seems cute. Precious, even. Like a seven-year old acting out Citizen Kane in their living room. 


...what? That's perfectly normal, right? Lots of kids...did...ahem. 


So despite the fact the history student in me should be fuming, instead a vision of Magneto floating Soviet submarines over the South Atlantic makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Some absurdities just reaffirm your faith in the world, you know? 


Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be over here, pretending Spiderman showed up in Andy Warhol's Empire and spoiled the original take. 

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Beer and Sad Music

by Jillian Butler, Ampersandology







Guy Maddin is my kind of national treasure: an absolute weirdo who has enough talent and vision to fill the Yukon Territories. Wait, was that metaphor not Canadian enough? Should I have mentioned poutine? Two tier health care? Rock Voisine? 


Anyway. 


I offer you this, the trailer for his 2003 film The Saddest Music in the World. It is a splendid film. Isabella Rossellini has glass legs filled with beer; I'm pretty sure that fact alone  shoots it to the tops of everyone's Must See list. In fact, YOU (yes, you!) should watch it. It's for your own good. 


But it's mostly for my own good: the phrase "If you're sad, and you like beer, then I'm your lady" has been in my roster for a good three years now, and I'm tired of people looking at me like I'm cuckoo. It's a great line, okay? It should be up there with "You talkin' to me?" and "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!" 


I was going to mention the number one classic line, "YOU WERE A TOMATO!!! A TOMATO DOESN'T HAVE LOGIC! A TOMATO CAN'T MOVE!" But quite frankly, it's not fair to the other lines. 

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"Howl" Trailer

by Jillian Butler, Ampersandology



"There is no Beat Generation. Just a bunch of guys trying to get published."

The odd tale of James Franco's redemption continues; from his turn as a New York art darling, to his regrettable but well-meaning attempt at fiction, I've given up trying to figure out what Franco's up to. And you know what? It helps. It really helps. I can just sit back now and enjoy the ride.

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Shia LeBeouf and the Moment We've All Been Waiting For

by Jillian Butler, Ampersandology




It's been a long time coming, but September 21st is almost here. I would already have my ticket, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only person alive who is excited enough to plan ahead of time.

My begrudging respect for Olivier Stone may prove only 20-something years in the making.

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Encyclopedia Brown Meets 2010...Sort of

by Jillian Butler, Ampersandology


I make no secret of the fact I love Encyclopedia Brown. It's one of those cultural throwaways that, like a favourite childhood toy, you remember abruptly one night and nearly choke on nostalgia. The book series (which I'm fairly certain I read every damn volume of; thanks, Second Page Bookstore!) followed boy genius Leroy "Encyclopedia" Brown, who punned his way through the dozens of mysteries that appeared occurred in his sleepy middle-American town. Each case would end on a cliffhanger, so you could try and peg the culprit yourself before flipping to the back to get the one fact that solved it all. I also wanted to marry him and oust Sally Kimball once and for all. That know-it all bitch had it coming. 


Anyway, needless to say, IT WAS AWESOME.  

Pictured: the AWESOME. 

The idea of boy (or girl) detectives is hilarious to me, mostly because it's so totally endearing. It carries this harmless kind of goodness, an adorable pluckiness that this little person would get it in their heads that they could do a big person job. It's probably why I liked Veronica Mars, thought its detective was a nearly adult girl; yet it so often subverted the idea of the do-gooder amateur by putting its plucky heroine in a seriously messed up town of corruption (that, or the fact her snark was supremely choice). It's so precocious and adorable and a phase I totally went through entirely mismatched. 


So when I saw the trailer for Mystery Team (which, I might add, stars Donald Glover of Community fame) my hope sprung anew. If there's one thing I can get behind, it's a group of retro-minded man-boys who set up a detective agency in a lemonade stand. What can I say? I really loved Encyclopedia Brown. 

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Easy A Trailer

by Jillian Butler, Ampersandology

I read The Scarlet Letter when I was 12. I hated it. I dug the essence of the story, but it was still really long and surprisingly puritanical for a book siding with the adulterer.

Really,  I thought to myself, what this story could have used was a feisty redhead, a plan to keep tormented gay friends in the closet until graduation, and a song by Lady Gaga.


Easy A

Trailer Park Movies | MySpace Video

Wish granted, 12 year old self. Now all we need is the pony covered in sparkle dust and we got ourselves a hat trick on childhood dreams.

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Now Presenting: The Too Cool for School Quiz

by Jillian Leigh, Ampersandology

Need a helpful guide to know if you are too cool for school? Quick: watch this trailer for upcoming thriller Don McKay...




Now, was your first thought:

a) I blame David Cronenberg for this.

b) Bah, Thomas Hayden Church is annoying. He was totally the worst part of Spiderman 3, and considering what a giant ball of wasted dreams that movie was, earning that honor is like being the most depressed Glass sibling--how does one choose?

c) They're making a movie about acclaimed Canadian poet and educator Don McKay? That's amazing! Weird that it's being marketed as a thriller...but then again, the Canadian publishing industry can be pretty cutthroat. I wonder when it will be Robertson Davies' turn!

If you answered a, I pretty much agree with you, but this just makes you a very sensible human being. Let me guess...did you walk out of A History of Violence pretending to like it, but secretly wondering what all the hype was about? I still firmly believe it's an Emperor/clothes situation, but I wait in silence, gathering my evidence and waiting for my moment of truth...

If your answer was b, yeah, I know, right? He annoyed me so much in that movie. Also, he is blowing all the indie cred he earned in Sideways like he's allergic. Also, his whole face kind of creeps me out. No reason, it just...does.

If you answered c, congratulations. Not only are you are too cool for school, you're also likely a Canadian. And a huge nerd. And too far gone to be saved. JOIN THE CLUB! 

Trailer: Wall Street 2

by Jillian Leigh, Ampersandology


IT IS FINALLY HERE. The trailer has arrived, and by GOD, it is splendid.





Oh, I have waited for this day for too long: the trailer for Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps has answered a number of enduring and BURNING questions for me:

Will Gordon Gekko coin a new catchphrase to rival the former glory of "Greed is good?" ANSWER! Yes, and it is even bitchier: "Someone reminded me I once said that greed is good. It seems now it's legal." SLAP, haters!

Will they make fun of the fact that jokes about the 80s are never far from our lips? Oh, who could resist another jab at the mobile telebricks and quaint velocipedes of yesterday? I know that I've been known to take a shot or two.

Will Shia further his career of playing cocky, motorcyclin', kind of annoying but in a vaguely charming way brat slash misunderstood wise aleck, pushed unknowingly into extraordinary circumstances by powers far greater than his compact, but well-muscled body? Yes. 

The Art of the Steal Trailer

by Jillian Leigh, Ampersandology







If there's one thing I love with abandon, it is art history disguised as a high-stakes crime caper. VIVE LE JOLI MENSONGE. 

2012 trailer, consider yourself un-friended.

by Jillian Leigh, Ampersandology


I cannot handle the trailer for 2012 any longer, nor can I keep silent. 


No, seriously. It terrifies me. Not just in a 'oh wow, i bet you could scratch the plot synopsis on the damp side of a Snapple lid' kind of way. Not even in a 'John Cusack, the 80s called and they want to know what happened, man' kind of way. 


It terrifies me in the 'God DAMN it, Hollywood, you promised to use your powers for good, HARDLY EVER for evil' kind of way.  It upsets me in the movie theater, in a manner that is ONLY HEALED by the memory of the jumping goats from the cell phone commercial. 





Like, what the hell, 2012 trailer? Way to obliterate my favorite planet. Here is a short list of things I never needed to see: the White House being crushed by a ship named after JFrakkin'K (Subtle City!), New York pavement cracking like the surface of a poorly baked cheesecake, or John Cusack cashing in the last chips of his pop culture relevance. 2012 trailer, DO YOU LIKE ANYTHING? Is this, like, a teenage rebellion thing? 'Cause I get it, I guess, I just don't think you need to eat the world to prove to your dad that you'll never be like him and you don't want his life, damn it. 


Just for that, I'M MAKING FUN OF YOU. Like the baby squirrel, I fear what I do not understand. Then I tease it until it goes away. MORAL VICTORY!

I Know Shirley. And You Sir, Are No Shirley.

So, I don't really like Michael Cera.

Now, now, before any Arrested Development fans jump out of my closet and beat me to death with frozen bananas, it really has less to do with Michael Cera and more to do with the fact he's basically the same character in every film, play, YouTube video or fake documentary. That's it, I just wish the kid would branch out a little.

Oh, that and the deeply "original" hipster tactic of adopting an underfed, derivative and socially awkward outsider as their King is wearing a little thin, don't you know. Hey Michael Cera, why are you wearing a t-shirt with a Shirley nametag? Your name isn't Shirley! Oh, you're wearing that t-shirt ironically? Oh of course! Why didn't I think of that? Oh right. Because you're the hipster douchebag.

Ahem.

But that was before I saw the trailer for Youth in Revolt, in which he once again plays Michael Cera (sample dialogue: "You'll find I do all my hiking freeform. I enter the wilderness with only a sense of childlike wonder." I BET YOU DO). But then, in what can only be described as a stunning twist, his character develops an alter ego, (also played by Cera) who manifests itself as what appears to be a dead-voiced Lothario who vaguely resembles a Colombian king pin. You know, if Colombian king pins glued on their mustaches and also lived on a diet of Mr. Noodles and the leftover fibers from American Apparel overstock. It is goddamn hilarious stuff, and almost made me forgive him for Juno.

Just...watch it. I laughed, a lot. Well done, Cera. Well done. You've won the battle. But who, indeed, will take the war?

DISCLAIMER: No hipsters were harmed in the making of this blog post. Well, maybe a little.

'It's Complicated' Trailer

SPOILER ALERT! I am going to see this. Why?

Because Meryl Streep is awesome (did you not see her on The Colbert Report?) and I sort of wish she was my aunt. Not my biological aunt, but the other kind, where you call them 'aunt' just because your mom tells you to, never questioning the logic, although if asked you couldn't tell anyone which side of the family she comes from, until one day you realize 'Aunt Meryl' is just one of your mom's friends who she went to college with and got her caught blazing up outside the dean's office, and that's why we don't talk about November 1975, thank you very much, except when Aunt Meryl totally spills the beans one Christmas after one too many sips of Zinfandel and after making out with your actually uncle Tom (who might I remind you, was only divorced last April). Family ties, everybody!

Anyway, that kind of aunt. Rock it, Streep!

I Look Forward to Making Many Puns on "Sherlock"

I have only four words to say upon my first viewing of the trailer for the Guy Ritchie-mounted Sherlock Holmes film. 

I save these words for those times in life when I truly need to express the depth of my gratitude or all the joys and follies this world can bring. or when saying anymore would besmirch the delicate whispered chemicals preserved in a hairline memory. 

These four words: being alive is OUTSTANDING. 

...and on the day 'surreal' was reinvented, I simply stood in awe and watched.

Hold the phone. DO NOT PUT THAT PHONE DOWN. 

Robert Pattinson --yes, the emo vampire from Twilight-- is playing Salvador Dali?  

I'm sorry, my mistake. It must be some other, lesser known Salvador Dali. Surely not this one: 

Funny story! I remember seeing a Dali exhibition when I was in London. There was a non-stop showing of his special little films there, and you know what the first thing I thought was? "Gee, I hope when it comes time to immortalize this eccentric bastard, they find some nice, vanilla young man who in no way resembles Dali save for an artfully glued mustache." 

AW, I'm just being cynical. In truth, the resemblance is uncanny. Dali dabbled in both anarchism and communism, and counted among his friends several prominent members of the Dada movement. On the other hand, Pattinson has more than once been touted as the next Jude Law AND knows Harry Potter! George Orwell famously declared  that Dali was "a good draughtsman and a disgusting human being." Meanwhile, xxedwardsgirlxx simply LOVES it when [sic] "Rob does thhat little shy thing, it’s so adorable!" Seriously, did Pattinson go Method for months in preparation? Because I can't tell where he ends and Dali begins. 

But to be fair....really, this IS the most surreal choice the filmmakers could have possibly made. I'm certainly reeling from all the metafictional mixed messages and I only found out like, ten minutes ago. So in a bizarre, roundabout way...I guess they're fulfilling everything Dali stood for. 

Hey, but good news, Daniel Radcliffe! This creates a promising precedent. If the performance of Pattinson's little mustache is any indication, apparently all you need to do to lock in the part of Napoleon Bonaparte is a really big hat and a baguette! 

"This isn't over." THANK YOU, GENIUS.

Clive? Darling?  I thought you were doing okay, and then I see this. Honestly, I don't know what to think. Is this about money? Do you need money? Because I can loan you some. Seriously. 

And here I thought Shoot 'Em Up was a phase.